Dear Roswell Crash Aliens,
I’m not sure if you’re celebrating or not, but a lot of humans are taking note of this day so I hope you don’t mind if I check in with you all. There are several news articles out there, and you are the topic of today’s Google Doodle. If you haven’t seen the Google Doodle you should go take a look. It’s cute.
I have some questions for you guys. I don’t really expect answers but if you’d like to pose as humans and leave answers in the comments section of this blog please feel free.
It was 66 years ago today that you all arrived. I suspect that at least a few of you stayed in Roswell. The desk clerk at my hotel when I stayed there looked way too much like you to not have some DNA that did not come from humans. I haven’t turned him in to anyone even though I know he was a hybrid.
Those of you that stayed, how do you like Roswell? Do the street lights with alien heads on top freak you out? Or do you accept them as good fun? Have you ever tried the Arby’s drive through? It says you’re all welcome there.
How many of you went to work at Area 51? I suspect that you guys are responsible for at least some of our technological advances in the past 66 years.
Legend has it that you lost one of your own in the crash and I’m sorry for your loss. Were you allowed to give him a proper memorial or is he still at Wright Patterson Air Force Base?
Did the remains of the ship go to Wright Patterson as well, or were they used to build the McDonald’s in Roswell? That last one isn’t in any of the conspiracy theories I’m familiar with, but the McDonald’s is shaped like a space ship so I had to ask.
What do you think of how you are portrayed in the movies? Please don’t be afraid to tell me if you’re offended by the portrayals. Hollywood doesn’t usually do a good job with book adaptations, so I won’t be surprised if they’ve gotten you guys all wrong too.
I have so many more things I could ask you, but I know you’re busy with creating new stealth technology and other pursuits, so I will end this here.
If you’re celebrating tonight, please enjoy your parties but don’t drink and fly. According to a comic I saw at the Roswell UFO Museum, that’s how you all ended up here in the first place.